An emotional candlelight ceremony was held Tuesday evening at the steps of the Greene County Courthouse to remember those lives affected -- and sometimes tragically ended -- by domestic violence.

The event was hosted by the CHIPS (Change Is Possible) Family Violence Shelter, in conjunction with National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which is recognized each October.

Among the guest speakers at the event was Amanda Carter, a young woman whose own life was tragically altered by the violent death of her mother.

She was joined in speaking by Greeneville Police Lt. Mike Crum and State Rep. David Hawk, R-5th, of Greeneville.

Also present were staff members of the Erwin-based emergency shelter that serves domestic violence victims in Greene, Unicoi and Carter counties.

As those in attendence held candles to remember victims, Carter spoke about the years of abuse that her mother suffered.

"She was a lively, beautiful, intelligent, loving woman. She was just attracted to the wrong men," Carter said.

Choking back tears, the young woman went on to describe how her mother suffered at the hands of not just one, but three husbands, the first of whom was Carter's father.

"They married when she was 19 and pregnant," Carter said of her parents. "Shortly thereafter the abuse started.

"He would take all of his anger out on her. He pushed, hit and kicked her. She was his punching bag.

"He almost killed her one time," Carter continued. "They were in the kitchen arguing, and he punched her in the face. It knocked her backwards into the stove hood. Her head hit the corner and knocked her out. He left her there bleeding on the floor, where her mother and father found her."

After two years of turbulent marriage, Carter said her mother left her father and eventually remarried.

The second marriage, Carter said, "seemed like the all-American family."

"He had a daughter from a previous marriage, and my mother had me. We lived in the suburbs of Indianapolis," she said.

"But no matter how it looked on the outside, it was a nightmare at home," she said.

Like Carter's father, her mother's second husband also had an explosive temper that he "could not control."

She recalled him once grabbing her mother during a heated argument and shoving her backwards into a piano.

"She asked him to stop screaming at her in front of me, and he punched her in the face. I screamed from behind the couch, and he left her where she fell. We grabbed what we could really quick and fled to her parents' house while he was gone," Carter said.

Her mother divorced once more and married again for the third -- and final -- time.

"He was not abusive in the beginning. It was more of a control issue with him," Carter said of her mother's third husband.

"He wanted to make sure that she depended on him for everything," she said.

He moved the family to Tennessee -- far away from their friends and family in Indiana, which only increased the dependency, she said.

"He was very verbally and emotionally abusive, which just worsened over time," Carter said.

After 10 years of marriage, her mother finally left and found an apartment of her own.

"He just snapped," she said. "He began showing up at her work to scare her and tell her there wasn't anywhere she could hide from him. He started having her followed. He broke into the apartment and destroyed some of her most prized possessions."

One night, he picked her up from work "under the pretense that he just wanted to talk to her," Carter continued.

"While driving down a back road they began to argue and he made her get out and walk. As she was walking, he drove up to her and knocked her down and dragged her by the hair on her head down the road.

"On Jan. 9, 2003, I was awakened by a knock on the door. It was the police. They had come to tell me that my mom, my very best friend in the whole world, was gone.

"She had been shot nine times by the man who had vowed to love and cherish her," Carter said.

"He apparently couldn't live with what he had done, so the man I had known as my dad for the majority of my life ended his own while driving back toward the house."

Carter said each year an estimated 1,232 women in this country are killed by their spouse or boyfriend.

"That's why I decided to get involved with CHIPS," she said. Carter volunteers with the program to help women like her mother.

"I wanted to ensure that my mother is remembered as more than just a statistic. We have the ability to change those facts," she said

Carter and her husband, Jason, are expecting their first child in March.

Carolyn McAmis, who serves as the executive director of the CHIPS shelter, said at least one in four women, on average, experience some form of abuse -- either emotional, physical or sexual abuse --at some point.

"It takes an average of seven times (of experiencing abuse) before most women leave an abusive relationship for good," McAmis said.

"Forty-two percent of women murdered in this country are killed by their husbands," McAmis said.

"Those who survive an abusive relationship are truly heroes," she continued. "We admire their courage and determination to live a life free of violence."

Greeneville Police Lt. Mike Crum said there are many reasons why a woman won't initially leave an abusive relationship.

Many are ashamed of the situation that they find themselves in. Others are scared and feel they must suffer in silence, he said.

"I could talk for hours on why they don't leave," Crum said.

Women in the community who are being abused, however, need to know that they are not alone and that help is available, he pointed out.

"Change isn't possible unless we educate the community (about domestic violence,) Crum said. "It is very misunderstood."

The officer commended the efforts of the CHIPS shelter and how well they work in cooperation with local law enforcement.

"They do a wonderful job," Crum said.

As the parent of a young girl, State Rep. David Hawk said he, like most other parents, is "overly protective" of his child. "I hope that she will grow up and find a man that she can trust," he said.

Hawk thanked Amanda Carter for sharing her painful story with the public. "Your story is going to save somebody's life," Hawk told her.

He encouraged women in the community who are suffering to not be afraid to seek help.

"Please contact the CHIPS shelter or law enforcement," he said.

"There are so many who try to handle the situation themselves, but they need to ask for help. Help is there."

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To contact the CHIPS Family Violence Shelter, call 743-0022.